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Don't Hit Anyone With That Monkey!

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messiah1
starkers
Join Date 05/2004
+1153
Reply #26 September 18, 2008 10:39:33 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"Boys! Don't do that in front of the shed! Use the potty!" ~When my wife saw the boys going in the back yard.

 

Hehe!   Now if any of those flowers die.... their replacements come out of your pocket money.

No, son, that was NOT the dog!  - after he and a mate had a pissing contest to see who could get it farthest up the wall, and I had discovered the liquid cooling had shattered a light globe....

....sure he was a big dog (rottweiler big).... but not almost 7 foot up the wall big.

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messiah1
messiah1
Join Date 10/2005
+434
Reply #27 September 24, 2008 4:58:22 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"Please take Stinky off the table."

 

*My youngest son attached himself to a blanket.  He takes it everywhere.  We have to wash it every other day because he drags it all over the place, outside, inside...we started calling it Stinky and it's stuck.  Ever see Mr. Mom? Yeah.

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #28 September 24, 2008 6:12:47 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"Please take Stinky off the table."

Boy, am I ever glad I read your explanation after seeing this!

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #29 September 24, 2008 6:14:36 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"What were you thinking!?!"

 

I said this to my 2-year-old son once when he did something rediculously nonsensical. I have come to discover that most 2-year-olds don't usually think when they behave strangely.

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messiah1
messiah1
Join Date 10/2005
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Reply #30 September 24, 2008 6:50:06 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

 

Boy, am I ever glad I read your explanation after seeing this!

 

I have come to discover that most 2-year-olds don't usually think when they behave strangely

 

Ya, I don't think they actually develop brains until about 4.  That's when they start to get ideas, like, oh, I don't know, say, taking off their clothes before playing in the dirt pile because he (er, I mean "they") doesn't want to get them dirty. 

 

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messiah1
elvee
Join Date 03/2001
+113
Reply #31 September 24, 2008 7:33:39 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Things we have to say to kids are really funny, but now that I am thinking about it, I have to tell you the funniest thing I ever heard a 4 year old say.

 

Ok, years ago when I was dating this girl, She had a 4 year old son. We were getting in the car to go somewhere. We both turned around looking at him in the back seat. He had his seatbelt on but his door was still open. So his mother asked if he should close his door first. He look at her with an innocent look and said. " No I want to keep it open so people can say 'Look at that Dumb Ass riding down the street with his door open'"

 

I looked at her and she gave her son a look like she was going to tear him a new one , but instead both her and I just started busting a gut. Man I laughed uncontrollably for a good 30 minutes

 

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messiah1
starkers
Join Date 05/2004
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Reply #32 September 25, 2008 2:10:26 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

If you expect me to clean up that mess after you... at least show me where you hid the mop and bucket.  Said to my then 6 y/o daughter who was play cooking on the kitchen floor... doll set utensils, real ingredients.

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messiah1
Brysgirl
Join Date 05/2008
+39
Reply #33 September 26, 2008 2:02:30 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"That is not chocolate. That's stinky.. ewwww get in the bathroom. Listen to me- there will never be chocolate in the bathroom, so if it looks like chocolate, don't touch it!"

Said to my two year old when he came out of the bathroom excited about the "chocolate" on his finger.

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messiah1
messiah1
Join Date 10/2005
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Reply #34 September 26, 2008 2:25:27 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Said to my two year old when he came out of the bathroom excited about the "chocolate" on his finger.

My then two year old painted a picture on his sisters dresser with "chocolate".  The dresser is gone.

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #35 September 26, 2008 2:29:00 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

My then two year old painted a picture on his sisters dresser with "chocolate". The dresser is gone.

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messiah1
storm347
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #36 September 26, 2008 8:46:03 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

saying to my three boys this room looks like a pig sty.them:what does a pig sty look like ? me:just like this room and if you don't clean it they are going to be sharing it with you

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messiah1
messiah1
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Reply #37 September 26, 2008 8:47:11 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

MG, precisely my reaction.  I've seen and smelled things in my 12 years as a parent that I don't even want to talk about.

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #38 September 26, 2008 8:59:45 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

MG, precisely my reaction. I've seen and smelled things in my 12 years as a parent that I don't even want to talk about.

Maybe it's convenient forgetfulness, but I don't seem to remember doing this sort of thing to my parents! At least not at this (toddler) age. Now at the baby age, that's another story. My parents tell me of something I did that they refer to as "The machine gun."

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messiah1
storm347
Join Date 11/2003
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Reply #39 September 26, 2008 10:57:29 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

when my middle son was 2 years old my husband hadn't locked the door my little one pushed right in stuck his hand under while my husband was going and proceeded to say boy thats hot .i washed his hands for over an hour lol do you think he was finished oh no i was then asked why dads was bigger all i could say was go ask your father

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #40 October 11, 2008 10:54:16 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"Stop licking your shirt!"

I said this to my 2-year-old this morning at breakfast. I'm still not quite sure why he was doing it. I suppose he must have spilled milk on his shirt...

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #41 October 15, 2008 1:22:10 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"What are you doing naked?!"

Said this to my 2-year-old the other day. Walked in the bathroom and found him as such.

Seems almost all of these have to do with my 2-year-old!

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messiah1
pjdark
Join Date 12/2006
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Reply #42 October 15, 2008 1:35:39 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"You have to stop playing in the litterbox!"

 

   My son loves his cars, but man that's just nasty.  

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #43 February 4, 2009 8:33:24 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"There's no time to pick your toes now! Get your boots on!"

Said to my 3 year old this morning as he was diligently trying to pick the sock lint out of his toes.

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messiah1
starkers
Join Date 05/2004
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Reply #44 February 4, 2009 10:01:05 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"Ha!  I'm so pleased to see that you're seeing first-hand what you put me through!!"... said earlier today to my now 30 y/o daugher, while her 4 y/o daughter threw a tantrum over something she couldn't have.

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messiah1
messiah1
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Reply #45 February 4, 2009 10:42:48 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Me: "Don't do it."

Jake (2): "I do it."

Me: "Don't you dare do it!"

Jake: "I'm do it!"

Me: JACOB PHILIP!

Jake: hahahahahahahahahaahah

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messiah1
DrJBHL
Join Date 04/2002
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Reply #46 February 4, 2009 10:53:46 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Ahhh...the joys of parenthood.

My youngest was ouside in the snow playing...looks up at the impossibly blue sky at a jet contrail and pointing at it

says, "Airpane daddy, AIRPANE!".

I came back into the house and told Anne (my friend) about it.

She replied, "About time, he's 28."

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messiah1
messiah1
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Reply #47 February 4, 2009 10:57:42 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

 

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messiah1
DrJBHL
Join Date 04/2002
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Reply #48 February 4, 2009 11:18:25 AM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Quoting messiah1,
reply 9
Said to my two year old when he came out of the bathroom excited about the "chocolate" on his finger.

My then two year old painted a picture on his sisters dresser with "chocolate".  The dresser is gone.

Well, munkeh...look at it like this: That was his first attempt at skinning.

Like, were you expecting a PSP? (Pee Shop Pro) 

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #49 February 4, 2009 2:01:50 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

Me: "Don't do it."

Jake (2): "I do it."

Me: "Don't you dare do it!"

Jake: "I'm do it!"

Me: JACOB PHILIP!

Jake: hahahahahahahahahaahah

I 'bout fell on the floor! Hilarious!

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messiah1
Mirsguy
Join Date 11/2007
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Reply #50 February 4, 2009 2:03:07 PM
from WinCustomize ForumsWinCustomize Forums

"Ha! I'm so pleased to see that you're seeing first-hand what you put me through!!"... said earlier today to my now 30 y/o daugher, while her 4 y/o daughter threw a tantrum over something she couldn't have.

What th... MY PARENTS SAY THAT TO ME!

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