Don't Hit Anyone With That Monkey!

messiah1

Join Date 10/2005

+434

Don't Hit Anyone With That Monkey!

Things they don't tell you about parenthood.

If someone had told me 15 years ago that I would be saying things like "Don't hit anyone with that monkey!" I'd have said they were crazy. This is just one of the lines my wife and I have written down out of the hundreds and hundreds of things we say to our kids and then realize how crazy that just sounded. If you've got 1 or 2, share please.

*The incident involved a stuffed monkey that was being swung around at the other bipeds in the house.

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vStyler

Join Date 11/2004

+919

Vice versa - My sister once asked.. "Why is that fat lady sitting on two chairs?"

at the doctors office [small] waiting room

She was 4.

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

"No, Daddy does not have a poopie. He has gas."

Ah-ha! Finally.... an admission! I knew there was a personal motive for the Curried Cabbage WB.

"No. No. Daddy's don't have boobies. They aren't boobies.

Hehe! No, they're man-boobs.

Kids!!!! Who'd have 'em. My daughter (now 28) chimed in with this beauty at a family gathering few weeks ago: "Dad! You'd take a bigger bra than me, wouldn't ya!"

GRRRRR!!!

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Me with my 4-year-old, disciplining him for disobeying...

Me: Timmy, why did you disobey your mother?

Timmy: Because I love her.

Me: You disobeyed your mother because you love her?

Timmy: Yes.

Me: If you love Mommy, you won't disobey her. So why did you disobey?

Timmy: Because I disobeyed.

Me: Yes, but, why...?

Timmy: Because I did.

Me:

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