Gideon's New EPA Guidelines

from JoeUser Forums

Well,the EPA has done its job. In the last 15 years in the US,only one species has become extinct.But I believe it is time for the EPA to change its guidelines, and,to whit, I propose the following changes:

  • Anything that is an insect or arachnid doesn't get to be on the endangered list
  • Anything that is a rodent doesn't get to be on the endangered list
  • For the purposes of these guidelines, pigeons are categorized as insects
  • For the purposes of these guidelines, deer are categorized as rodents
  • If it tastes like chicken it doesn't get to be on the endangered list
  • If it is a subspecies named after a geographical area smaller than New York's Central Park, it doesn't get to be on the endangered list
  • If its habitat includes an area obstructing the new garage,shed, swimming pool or gokart track I'm wanting to construct,it doesn't get to be on the endangered list

This is just a start.I'm hoping the federal government acts quickly and endorses these guidelines.

humor
6,454 views 9 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
  • If it is a subspecies named after a geographical area smaller than New York's Central Park, it doesn't get to be on the endangered list

    • I would go farther.  If it can breed with other subspecies, it does not go on the list.

    Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
    But... everything tastes like chicken
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    Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

    But... everything tastes like chicken

    Beef tastes like chicken?

    Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
    Cool...buuut...I'd like to propose that if it's cute it should be able to go on the list even if it does taste like chicken...
    Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
    Gee, I sure do miss horny Toads... It's a Texas growin' up thang. Kinda like 8 tracks and candy cigarettes...
    Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
    Shovelheat: I used to love Horny Toads! We'd catch them all the time (and they'd spit at us). I had forgotten about those!
    Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
    Gee, I sure do miss horny Toads... It's a Texas growin' up thang. Kinda like 8 tracks and candy cigarettes...


    California Desert too.
    Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
    Funny, I'd always considered pigeons to be rodents with wings. Same with seagulls.
    Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
    Pigeons, starlings, grackles, cockroaches.....
    Same difference.

    Here, we call deer "rats with antlers".

    Funny post.