Stand by for new inovations in the near future.
Apparently they're working on a propulsion unit that's powered by bionic hamsters... better, stronger, faster than their completely organic counterparts. If successful, one would be able to reach Russia on half a lettuce... tho drivers would have to become accustomed to appearing to be traveling in slow motion and the goddam awful sound effects, which apparently contributed to the downfall of Lee Majors.
Yup, according to inside sources, Majors got so caught up in it that he lived and breathed his Six Million Dollar Man role... with the mood killer in the bedroom being his insistence to play the bionic sound effects during proceedings... not to mention that the 'slow motion' thing did nothing for his 'premature' issues.
The most severe of course was the overly tight sphincter valve which hindered the engagement of the drive shaft causing intermitent lurching forward.
Actually, I'm thinking this could be to my advantage... that a surgical tightening of my sphincter could see my drive shaft lurching forward more frequently. Then perhaps my gonadal filter wouldn't be so heavy and, therefore, would have more ground clearance.
