Of late, and thanks to wireless and a laptop I am spending more time with my new wife watching the current shows that are on air. Since the writers strike (where writers were all mad that the reality TV stars were not following the scripts they labored over for hours, or something like that I can't remember) I have tried to adopt some of the new shows. This is what I am certain my cats feels like when she makes those wonderful choking sounds in the hallway.

Night Rider- Never in my life have I wanted the acting talents of David Hasslehof back so badly. Did they really get Val Kilmer for the voice of the car... then decide that was a bad idea? Has anyone told them that cars already have most of this technology right off the dealer lot? If I push OnStar and refer to the operator as Kit I am more than halfway there.

Fringe - I love it as I could use a new fix for my X-Files-like needs. Trouble is the format is so palpable I can almost time it. Watch this: next time the professor comes up with a crazy experiment to catch/find/figure out the strange thing that has occurred it will take place at the 27 minute mark of the hour. Still fun to watch though even with the Dawsons Creek music playing in the back of my head when Jackson talks.

90210 returns- Tory Spelling wouldn't touch it with a 10ft pole. That means I am around 1,o00ft or more. The girls that I did see in passing are basically skeletons that talk. Perfect for the Halloween season.

Heros - God I want to love this show, I really do. It just wasn't made for those of us raised on super hero stories, and it wasn't written by anyone that had read one either. What I do like is that just like Lost this show will kill you... unless someone fills you with super blood then you are TOTALLY back in bro! High five!

Lost - I'm lost. It was an easy joke but seriously, I have no idea what is going on. If I wanted to sit around for an hour wondering what the hell is going on with these crazy people.... well I would call it Thanksgiving. This includes the polar bears. Props goes to a show for murdering main cast members like they were skeet.

Life - Cop gets out of prison, becomes cop again, catches guy that framed him. Now in the second season he is going after the guys that put him up to it in the first place. 3rd season.... Osama Bin Ladin? Interesting show enough but it is going to crash at what I am now calling the "Prison Break" methodology of writing. They are out of prison! It's broke! Now end it!

True Blood - I don't watch this because I don't have HBO. The premise of vampires living openly among humans sounds neat, and yet still seems boring. I'm sure Ann Rice would be rolling in her grave, if she was dead. Hicks can be vampires too ya know. If you don't know look up Alien Nation, I hear if you play it at the same time the music and words line up.

Grey's Anatomy - I have a wife and therefor I watch this show. Judge me not. However the show seems to know a guy like me is watching the show and gives me small masculine shout outs from time to time. Yesterday they ripped a guys face off and showed it. There was a kid in the operating room that said the same thing I said almost word for word "Is guy missing his face! No! bring it back I wanna see the guy with his face off!"

Girls Next Door - If your wife or girlfriend will watch this then so should you. Funny part is you know it is setting up to a funny conclusion since we know all the girls have been kicked out and Hef shacked up with the fugitive blond twins from backwoods who-cares-ville. That man is a living legend, and totally senile.

All reality TV - can die. Biggest loser I can dig on because it is a good thing really. Oh and to possibly shatter a few hearts? The Hills is NOT reality TV. It's as fake as wrestling.

Dexter - Serial killer is killing other serial killers and we get narration from a sociopath... I don't have anything bad to say here. I'm freaked out and rooting for the mass murderer.

House - I love this show now that we are out of the recruitment season. I get the feeling though that the ailments are getting a bit strained and after a while they are just going to start making stuff up. I frequently reference MythBusters when I see this show saying "Wait! I know that doesn't work!".

ER - is ending. Who was still watching?

Dancing with the Stars - Please god let Cloris Leachman win. I won't watch but I do look for her highlights online just to hear her talk. You can tell she has her assistant on the phone just before she goes out to see if the check cleared for this weeks bout of stupid crap.

Chuck - Funny in a Perfect Strangers/Alf sort of way. Basically if any cast members from Firefly shows up on a show I will watch for a while.

Gossip Girl - I'm just kidding. I would never watch this even just to make fun of it.

Terminator - No. No no no. Wait! Is that River?!?! Never mind, I'm in.

So anyway I guess I hate TV. These days I am reading The Dresden Files, and yes... I watched the show.