I didn't realize I was being unclear: the other empires in single player games give you tasks that you can complete or fail. If you complete the task you get a bonus, if you fail you get a penalty on the sliding diplomatic 0-100 scale. You get rewards in gold, metal and crystal if you complete the task in the alloted time.
My gripe is the tasks are too difficult too soon. Asking me to destroy 4 civilian structures on my enemy in the first 30 minutes of the game, when I do not know where the enemy is, nor do I yet have a fleet that can fight my way to their planet and then fight their fleet and then destroy those high HP structures..they take 5 minutes to kill.
I ask for easier, less invovled diplomatic tasks or quests, at least at the start of the game, something that doesn't quite invovle me going into the lions den!
Generally it works like this: attack missions are only given against enemies within 2 jumps from you. This means that unless you're playing on a very small map where everyone is glued to each other, it will take a bit for you to expand within 2 jumps of any other AI. So, the first mission you usually get is "give me resources". The second mission can be another "give me resources", or it can be a "go kill something" if you've had time to get to 2 jumps. The sooner you do the first, the more likely you are to get an easy second because it will come sooner. But even if you stretch them out, you essentially get 1 hour until you have to blow something up.
The main difficulty is with "destroy tactical structures", because the AI just doesn't build a whole lot of them quickly. So even though he's within 2 jumps of you, getting 4 usually means you pretty much have to assault his homeworld. Ships and civilian are the easiest. Mines count as civilian, so you can just blow up the mines, they have barely any hp and get destroyed quickly. Ships are second easiest, because trade ships and each individual strike craft counts as a ship. By that time, most AIs already have a few squads of fighters/bombers, so it's real easy to rake up the ship kills without really trying very hard.
You can mod it a bit to make it easier (less of a penalty, or longer time limit), but I suggest playing a bigger map with fewer AIs. So say if a map is rated for 8 players, try it with 6 or 5. That way the players will be more spread out and it will take longer to start getting combat jobs.