greg, change your disabled colour in system colours.. make sure the font is os default for now so its not a factor in affecting anything
and to be on the safe side make sure use flat menus is disabled
you also mentioned one of those programs was ps7 most times, photoshop skins bad, one solution i have found with the drop down menus,
is sometimes it helps to give those fonts and outlined text in the font settings, this seems to calm down everything. just make sure the outlined colour is going to suit in with the rest of your skin, for example, dark green like your menu background colour, and that mint green for the mouseover
hope you get where im going with this xxxx