Not to "dumb it down", but perhaps you should play on a lower setting, so you can at least put away a victory, then work your way up?
One way I keep things going is to expand VERY quickly, but in a limited way (if that makes sense). In other words, don't overextend yourself! You have a "grace period" in relations for a few months with other major civs after you make first contact, but when that's over it's all MERIT BASED. Check the "reports" screen to see how other majors are viewing you. If you have minuses next to military, you're going to start getting exploited, or even attacked. Even if you don't lose the war, you'll still be slowed down.
Here's the standard flow beginning the game on anything about crippling and below: first, explore. Set your industry capacity to max out and your slider to 100% military, and crank out colony ships with a few scouts. Hit every nearby star, and unless you've got an extra, wait to colonize mars because it takes several turns to even make it profitable. Buy a factory for cash but after that don't pay for anything else but build it, it's far more efficient that way. On large games, cut taxes to 100% happiness rate to keep your population growing fast to keep up with expansion demands.
Next, expand. I often grab the productive planets towards the edge of my civ first, because they're the most likely to be poached by neighbors, and my colony ships will reach there first. The later colony ships will colonize the closer planets. Keep expanding until you're under 1000 BC, then switch your slider to 100% social production and pound out a few markets on your homeworld. Start with at least one or two factories, then put a few markets on your other planets too. This is VERY important in fast expanders (this strategy is fast exp) because you may easily end up in a situation where your maintenance outstrips your entire economy! So cut back when you need to with your industrial capacity so you don't go upside down.
Next, exploit. Or be exploited. Do as suggested above and go 100%tech and tech to UT, then weapons. Switch over to 100% military (seeing a pattern?) Make some cardboard cutout ships to keep around your planets to keep majors off of you. Once your military is over 100 rated, switch back to 100% social production and make research centers, factories, etc to increase your tech/economic/research capacities, depending on those planetary resources.
Finally, exterminate. With your new techs and your style of play, choose your line: warrior? Cultural King? Diplomat? Computer geek? Up to you, but it's important to choose one that fits your style. Congratulations! You made it out of the opening! You should be ranked at least in the top 3rd overall.
A few tips and caveats: It's rarely, if ever, advisable to park your sliders on anything other than 100% on one item. Why? Because theoretically there is ONE SINGLE THING that you can do that will BEST serve your civilization. Expanding, producing military, teching to the good ones, building wonders, etc. Try to evaluate what is most important for your civilization and give it all the industrial capacity you got! Also, watch your relations constantly! Don't be afraid to bribe majors who are tougher than you: it works! Send cash or techs to keep them off your back if you're fighting another war. Take out minors before someone else gets them. Their planets are usually well above average. Fund your enemies' enemies! I had a game where Yor was a runaway AI, beating everyone else up including me! I bribed my way out of war and started sending entire fleets to the arceans (somewhat stronger than I was and also at war), and my arcean relations went from neutral to close in only a few dozen turns. I teamed up with them, went back to war once my economy recovered, and swept an alliance victory out from under the Yor.
Hope this all helps you new gamers out there.
