I've got a suggestion for an "unsitely improvement". Unicorn and Dolphin emoticons. And some tacks so I can drop a few down on the road and pop those bike tires for Starkers.
After all, "flat" is the new look.
I'll give you "flat"!!!!! How about I let the air out and deflate those 'man boobs' you're so proud of?
Or I find your fave pron starlet and remove the silicon?
As for the tacks, that d' only work if rode my bike these days... with worsening arthritis I can barely lift my leg over the other side to operate both pedals... and riding side-saddle ain't an option.
However, I do like the unicorns and dolphins idea.... it'd piss more than just a few people off.
Oh, and artistically speaking, flat is actually the OLD look.... eg; prehistoric cave paintings, pyramid paintings, Ancient Greek and Roman art.