starkers my heart goes out to u too i know how awful these ordeals are.
Thank you for the kind sentiment, it is appreciated. However, I am fine now and I have fully healed, both physically and emotionally and I'm coping well with life and what it throws at me.
I won't say that I'm mentally together, though. I Know that I'm a bit of a nut job with a few screws loose, but I'll blame that on the tap on the head.
Yeah, one was fitted after I complained about water on the brain.
as for this man i have no idea if he is in custody or still loose. the police wont tell me anything other than to say they know where he is and he is settled.
Now this is not something they should be withholding from you. It's not like you're asking for an address so you can send around a hitman, so the police should at least give you some kind of assurance that he is not in a position to do further harm to anyone. Therefore, if I were you, I would calmly and politely be seeking answers: that at least, if he is not imprisoned, that he is not living locally and is in no position whatsoever to make contact with you.
The police owe you that much. If, however, the police are not forthcoming, perhaps the prosecutor is the person to ask... given that you are his witness and your peace of mind is imperative to the case. I don't know how the law works in the UK anymore because I've not been there for over 40 years now, but I'm trying to offer some assistance based on Australian law, which is still very similar. Hopefully I've given you some helpful thoughts here.
i know the employment ppl are harrassing me to find a job, maybe they are right, but i worry that i might cause more harm as am so distracted.
Given the circumstances, I think you have a more than valid reason not to be pressured by them to find work... and certainly not in a profession such as nursing, where patient care could adversely be affected by your distracted state of mind. Work at some point would be therapeutic and beneficial, but at this time I believe your primary goal should be taking care of yourself, preparing for the upcoming court case, seeing justice done, then healing so you are feeling good within yourself and are better equipped to be gainfully employed.
uncertainty is very unsettling for me, i like to know where am going, what am doing and this not knowing is driving me crazy.
This is quite understandable and quite expected in the circumstance. However, you can take some control by seeking those answers, if not from the police, then the prosecutor. I also suggest that you speak with your doctor, not necessarily to seek medication, but to speak of your fears, concerns and difficulties. Your doctor may suggest a course of medication to assist you through the most difficult times, but just speaking with somebody such as a doctor face to face can and should lift a whole load off your shoulders.
Just remember, chin up, okay. You are in my thoughts.