So, for a quick warm up article I decided to steal Dr. Guy's bit again and do some headlines. Here we go:
"Hawaiian Honeybees Threatened by Bloodsucking Parasite"--headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 25
Oh, so honeybees started hiring lawyers?
"Homemade Baby Wipes Are Gentle on Baby's Tush and Your Pocketbook, Too"--headline, Star Press (Muncie, Ind.), Aug. 26
Although if your pocketbook is crapping, you've got a whole new set of problems.
"Confused Sea Turtles March Into Restaurant"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 18
Thought they were going to the IHOP ended up in a Denny's.
"Debate Coaches Lose Cool, 1 Pulls Down His Pants"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 15
Well, that's one way to end an argument.
"Third Donkey Found Wandering Around Tenn. Town"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 14
Apparently you can get a fair amount of ass in Tennessee.
"Uncle Sam Wants Your Brain"--headline, Wired.com, Aug. 13
Shit, here come the zombies!
"YEMEN: Ministry Issues Warning on Maize Smut"--headline, U.N. Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs press release, Aug. 13
Yeah, baby. Let me see those kernels.
"Want to Live a Long Life? Run"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 11
The hunt begins.
"Giant Smelly Flower Puts On Sex Show in Belgium"--headline, Reuters, Aug. 7
It's just as arousing as it sounds.
"Dead Man Awakens Before Autopsy, Shocks Doctors by Asking for Glass of Water"--headline, FoxNews.com, Aug. 6
Well, better than waking up after an autopsy.
"Weird Tactics Can Sometimes Get You the Job"--headline, CNN.com, Aug. 4
Always have a cake to pop out of if you think the interview is going down hill.
"Scientists Claim Increasing World Jellyfish Population Is Bad Sign for the Planet"--headline, TheTechHerald.com, Aug. 4
The invasion of the jellied ones is nigh!
"Have a Conversation, With Your BlackBerry"--headline, FoxBusiness.com, July 25
It's the only thing that understands me.
24 Dead Ducks Found in Capitol Reflecting Pool"--headline, FoxNews.com, July 27
There was a lovely dinner that evening.
"Maine Governor Fears Cold Winter"--headline, Boston Globe, July 27
Someone picked the wrong state to govern.
And there ya have it.
~Zoo
