(By the way, I'll get back on board with my animal features soon. I had studying and crap get in the way...and I wanted to finish that story. Rest assured, there will be more)
"2.8 Million Reasons to Run Hard"--headline, Los Angeles Times, Jan. 22
I can think of at least one reason not to- comfort. 
"Long Island College Freshmen Find Ways to Adjust"--headline, Newsday (Long Island, N.Y.), Jan. 20
That's what happens when you run hard. Things get twisted.
Venus Battles Into Quarter-Finals"--headline, Reuters, Jan. 21
Sent Mars home crying like a pansy.
"Fire Destroys Pump That Protects Hamlet"--headline, Indianapolis Star, Jan. 22
Guess he has no choice but to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune now.
"Have You Tried: Milky Way Hot Chocolate"--headline, News Journal (Wilmington, Del.), Jan. 17
Sources say it's out of this world. (*groan*)
"City: Smelly, Bad Tasting Water OK to Drink"--headline, WXII-TV Web site (Winston-Salem, N.C.), April 11
Uh, you first.
"Scientists: Big Quake Likely in Calif."--headline, Associated Press, April 15
Well, California does have its faults.
"Can't Eat Ethanol"--headline, Boston Globe, April 13
Now I'm going to have to cancel my barbecue.
"Antelope Woman Gets Probation for Attack on IRS Worker"--headline, Sacramento Bee, April 9
Even animals hate paying taxes.
"Who Trumps bin Laden as a Cyberthreat? Look in the Mirror"--headline, CNET News, April 8
Hmm...ok. Oh shit, it's me!
"Report: Vick Not Playing Organized Football in Kansas Prison"--headline, ESPN Web site, April 8
I guess criminals don't like playing by the rules.
"Viggo Mortensen Coming to Oregon Coast to Film Movie"--headline, KGW-TV Web site (Portland), April 10
Oxen, conestoga wagon, musket, food...time to hit the trail.
"It's Fun to Imagine a Housing Turnaround"--headline, St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times, March 27
Hah! Then the front yard would be tha backyard...it's crazy!
"UM Professor Lee Badgett Named Second Most Powerful Lesbian Academic"--headline, Daily Collegian (University of Massachusetts), March 26
The fight for power will continue. There can only be one!
~Zoo
