no no no...you've got it all wrong. see the north atlantic deep sea current is being affected by large iceburgs from antarctica. the solonization point of the current has reached critical mass, coupled with greenland's interaction with solor storms, is over-saturating frutons in the stratosphere with water pronutrons and is causing the atmosphere to act as a maginfying glass which, sadly, is pointed directly at fredericksburg. not to fear, this is highly localized. once the charred remains of the city and it's inhabitants are cleared, things should be back to normal by thursday at the latest.
