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[requesting sticky, as usual]MechaLenin's Guide to Trolls is back! All newbies must read.

By on June 8, 2012 4:56:21 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Mecha-Lenin

Join Date 02/2006
+35

Frogboy is control freak with a tiny penis.

 

Since this forum is plagued by trolls, megalomaniacs and annoying characters of all kinds, I'm bringing you this guide to to help you identify these posters before they get into your head.



TIER 1 trolls -these trolls are a threat to your sanity


King of Kings-

We all know KOK. He is dellusional. He will often rage and start sweareing your family till 10th generation.

Very dangerous and insane troll. He truly believes what he is writing and he could kill for it if he only know how.

Stay away, his paranoia is contageous and transmitted by close contact (see Kbroke)

He often tells the tale about his glorious victories which never took place and some interesting story about bia clan.


Sinperium-

Troll whose life ambition is to become a pop superstar

allegedly took up the alias 'worldstrider' and used it to troll countless forumites into oblivion

while many view this theory to be bunk, it must be said now that this theory has now been confirmed along with the theory that Ryat was the one who was behind the infamous "I blame Ryat thread"

Countless thousands are shocked by Sinperium's blatant disregard for decency and propriety, and by his frequent postings of unintelligible gobbledygook on a near-daily basis.

This scandalous figure relishes the attention we give him and often makes posts about himself just to be able to read something that he has written.

This troll deserves a tier higher than the ones already present.

Reviewed by KrdaxDrkrun

 

 

 

MayallCommunion-

This is a very dangerous witch troll who pretends to make treads concerning game balance, but whose secret intentions lie in nerfing everything that has the potential to destroy the Advent. Generally, her comments seem very reasonable, yet they are filled with lies that unwary newcomers consume in all their innocense.

Mayalls comments alone are not the most dangerous tricks this evil troll has up her sleeve though. The real nasty stuff happens where nobody but her victims can see it. In private messages, the witch troll indoctrinates carefully selected forum newcomers, and they eventually become mindless husks that support Mayall publicly, no matter what she states on the forums.

Because of her steadily growing army of husks, she seems to be an important figure here on these forums, as she gets support on most of his threads here and that makes it even harder for irregulars to see the truth behind the lies.

She also awards her husks with karma points every now and then, as a meaningful reward for their loyalty. Rival trolls like Sareth and Riddleking are also awarded karma every now and then, yet this is not uncommon behavior for a witch troll. She does respect fair competition, it would seem.

Reviewed by Teun-a-Roonius

 

Teun-a-Roonius- awaiting review

kbroke- awaiting review

Cilverbug- awaiting review

Admirat Hoth- awaiting review

Major Stress- awaiting review


TIER 2- They are sometimes serious, which only adds to their unpredactibility. Although not as annoying as TIER 1 trolls, they are still very potent.

 


RiddleKing-

This guy is a master at mixing half truths with subtle lies...he tends to go through a cycle with four stages:

  1. The Lurker phase- long periods (relatively) of little or no activity...the occasional posts in this phase lack both gravity and evidence of trolling
  2. The F*&% you phase - right when the community least expects it, he'll go on a tirade about how uber retarded you are...usually his analysis in this phase is more or less correct, and at this phase he begins to build credibility...
  3. The Remission phase- after the dust has settled, he'll go into a very serious, very caring mode...his comments are reasonable, seemingly thought-out, and sometimes a little lovey-dovey, almost to the point of flambouyancy...
  4. The Troll phase- using the recent credibility he's obtained, he'll start giving tips or comment on strategy...at first, he'll seem reasonable, but as time goes on this expert troll will gradually integrate small lies and misinformation into his "advice"...very often, people defer to his "advice", falling into a cleverly built troll trap...even the wisest forum members sometimes get caught by RiddleKing...

Reviewed by Seleuceia


Ue_Carbon-

This guy is a true shit disturber, a "real player" if you will...

His strategy is simple...first, he'll align with the modders and troll the MP crowd...then he'll troll the modders, alienating himself from his own kind...then he'll get on TeamSpeak and tell his modder friends how great they are...somehow this master strategy results in modder vs. MP forum battles of epic proportions, and at the end of the day everyone forgets the subtle manipulations he performed...

He is also infamous for the "Bomber Rage Quit" or BRQ...simply amassing a large fleet of bombers almost guarantees a rage quit from this troll, leaving his wingmen to fend for themselves...

Reviewed by Seleuceia

 

Sareth-

One could call Sareth tenacious and determined...or one could call him just stubborn and hard-headed...his trolling scheme usually starts with a controversial topic or suggestion from which he will adopt a ridiculous position...his "opinions" are followed by walls of psuedo-logic that easily persuade the feeble-minded...only the strong willed can see through his deceit...

This troll is so good at trolling, he'll even sometimes troll himself and actually believe what he is saying...this only makes him more convincing, more determined, and more dangerous...only the well-prepared and strong-willed should fight this dangerous foe...

Reviewed by Seleuceia

 

Volt_Cruelerz-

With this troll comes the age-old adage that silence is deadly...

for his silence is only interrupted by occasional posts that contribute to the general paranoia which serves as a barricade to newer players.

When he does post something out of the blue, it will most often be some kind of rage-filled comment against the many changes that the Sins devs have not implemented in order to make the game better for all players. Use extreme caution when approaching him on these grounds.

He is shamelessly antisocial and will rebuff all attempts to fraternize with him with strange comments about his mods or just nothing at all...

In spite of his trollish behaviors, he has shown himself to be dedicated to his mods and to be coherent on that account, warranting him a tier two placement.


Huymac-

He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll. He's an asian fella with a little man complex, who's favorite sins pastime is to tell everyone how great he is.  He is a banker who shamelessly steals from the mouths of the poor to give to his already lavish lifestyle.  He is also quite proud of this fact.  Aside from shouting his own praise, his other pastime is to initiate arguments online and lose them.  He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll.

Reviewed by Sareth

 

BrazilianJoe-

This troll is most commonly known for making threads on the forum that contain the word "official", making new victims believe that Brazillian_Joe is a Stardock or Ironclad representative. Even though he may be a tier two troll, this guy is a serious thread to your health.

Besides making his own threads seem very official, this Brazillian troll also declares threads from legitimate forum users (and sometimes even threads made by other trolls too!), unoffical. Making newcomers think that Joe - pretending to be a StarClad representative - knows best and therefore they will listen to him rather than to innocent forum users, whose threads are banished into the deeper layers of the forums, where they will remain unseen for a long long time...

Luckily, numerous smarter trolls (mostly the tier 1 trolls), have pointed out to the newbies that Brazillian_Joe is a cheap troll instead of a StarClad rep, and now most forum regulars are very aware of him. Joe lies under heavy fire regularly these days, being stuck at +9 karma for weeks by now. This does not make him any less of a try-hard though, and he continues to bring more dangerous trolls and influential forum regulars down with seemingly official statements.

Remember, once the Brazillian troll starts to post replies that are filled with words that no one can even find in the regular dictionary, get the hell out of that thread! For if you stay too long, his Brazillian voodoo-magic will draw you nearer and nearer to becoming a slave of the Brazillian troll... An average Joe!

 

 

Polistes-

This troll enjoys such a low rating because we have yet to determine just what his motivations are for trolling the rest of us. He is most certainly enjoys the thrill he gets from making all of the pro gamers mad, but otherwise his presence is quite mysterious. He is coherent and intelligent, which also prevent him from getting higher up in the tiers.

Polistes is widely known for flaming the pro gamer portion of the Sins community and going off on tirades about how Single Players don't care anything for balance and they just want to have fun. When the modders respond to him, he just ignores them, and instead continues to berate the targeted pro gamer(s) until he feels that they have been sufficiently riled. Then he turns around and attempts to make you feel like you have wronged him somehow.

In order to avoid making him mad, attempt to make him feel better about himself with pictures of cats and cookies and bunnies. This will most certainly help keep his infamous 10-post barrages down to a minimum.

Also, do not mix Seleuceia and Polistes. They do not seem to get along well. Reviewed by KrdaxDrkrun.




TIER 3- SPECIAL TIER


Yarlen-

This troll has such a low placement because us Forumites have a soft spot in our hearts for him and we do not want to embrace the truth:

Yarlen is renowned for making promises void of any substance and for making vague references to incoming content for the game.

There is no denying his dedication to the forums, as it seems that he is the only developer who even reads what we write...

In spite of that, it is generally felt that he does this not out of some obligation to the community, but out of some demonic thirst for fresh ideas, which he promptly consumes, leaving vague promises in his wake.

Beware, if you see him in your threads, it is not because he is looking for fresh ideas to implement into the game, but because he is looking for newer players to drain the life force from.

Now we know why certain people have such brief stints on the forums:

Yarlen is on the hunt.

 

Kryo-

This denizen of the forums is well-loved by all who appreciate the fine art of being able to pass lots of things off to other people.

He is well-known for his infrequent postings making mention of the feared "Contact Stardock Support" in response to a problem...

but, not to worry, as Stardock Support is very good at fixing problems, and it usually only takes them a week or so to solve a problem that could've been solved in a few minutes...

We've always figured that it was never Kryo's fault that he didn't have the time to answer our questions, so we give him a tier three ranking.

Newcomers beware though, Kryo has a severe dislike of spam posters, which he appears to share with another denizen by the name of Jafo. So, in order to stay on his good side, do not post useless threads, or you will soon discover just why his name is Kryo.

 


MEGALOMANIACAL BORES-

 

Ryat -

More celebrity than a real troll. Will do everything to be visible (wonder why didn't he published his sex tape yet)

Usually he is shallow and has nothing to say but will write a lot of sensless comments just to get some karma.

Ignoring him is strongly suggested

Reviewed by Quar

 

Howdidyoudothat-

How used to be a cool guy. But time passed and How got old and entered andropause.

Now he danies everything he used to do. He is dead earnest and deadly boring.

With age came paranoia. In Howthe's case, it's serious, he sees little blue people everywhere like a drunk who sees white    mouses.

With delusions came a hipocrisy and megalomania which drove him to become a denunciator.

All that fits him perfectly to MEGALOMANIACAL BORES category.

 

(pathetic)ACHIEVEMENT WHORES-

 

BOTA99

Polistes

Yurka_Sanctuary

Warpeeg

Classicvibe

ogoor

 

JUST WHORES-

 

SemazRalan- "yeah, I'm just a whore"

 

SELEUCEIA TIER-

Empty so far. No idea who should I put here.

573 Replies +3
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June 20, 2012 4:59:41 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Seleuceia,
Maybe it's because Mecha feels sorry for me and my complete lack of micro on ICO...

On the bright side, my winning streak for Internet Spades seems to go up the more I play on ICO.....

How are you not on the troll list again? 

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June 20, 2012 6:39:14 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Troll the shit out of Ryat and you go straight to tier 1.

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June 20, 2012 7:19:45 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Problem is that Ryat would ENJOY it too much.

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June 20, 2012 7:28:20 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

That perverse bastard.

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June 20, 2012 11:05:47 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

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June 23, 2012 11:42:21 AM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

This thread needs a bump. It is still incmplete.

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June 23, 2012 12:04:13 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Major Stress,
Problem is that Ryat would ENJOY it too much.
Quoting Mecha-Lenin,
That perverse bastard.

Indeed. Nothing like trolling a troll.

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June 23, 2012 12:33:31 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Ryat,
Indeed. Nothing like trolling a troll.

I hate to disappoint you, but pasting goofy cat pics is not trolling.

 

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June 23, 2012 3:00:21 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

but. it got you to react. So........

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June 23, 2012 3:59:50 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Mecha-Lenin,
I hate to disappoint you, but pasting goofy cat pics is not trolling.
Quoting Pbhead,
but. it got you to react. So........

It works.

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June 23, 2012 4:46:09 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

That's why I keep saying you're boring.

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June 23, 2012 5:53:02 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Right. If you want to do it right you should:

 

1. Use trolls

2. Photoshop them yourself.

 

Like so:

 

 

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June 23, 2012 6:40:26 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

List is fail, it dont have me there as emperor of the kings of trolls.

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June 23, 2012 7:34:29 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

I told you Ryat would enjoy it.

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June 23, 2012 7:46:24 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

See Ryat, Pbhead did all the work for you. I doubt you can learn anything from him, though. You clearly lack creativity. Continue with your cat pics then.

Quoting Cpt_Siddy,
List is fail, it dont have me there as emperor of the kings of trolls.

For a second I was afraid you'd say King of the Kings of Trolls. Which would be slightly disturbing. You know, "If you gaze into the abyss, abyss also gazes into you" stuff (or insert any other Nietzsche pop-quote).

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June 23, 2012 7:56:38 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Mecha-Lenin,
If you gaze into the abyss, abyss also gazes into you

Cpt_Siddy looked deeply into Mecha-Lenin's eyes, and seeing nothing inside, went mad. The whisper from the empty shell proclaimed Siddy as the King of the King of Trolls, and they both went on to a faraway galaxy to create an abyss of the universe. Soon all will see into the abyss, and understand their lives mean nothing in our shadow.

- Excerpt from Personal logs recovered from the Vasari Survivors

 

EDIT: To Mecha-Lenin, exactly.

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June 23, 2012 8:17:05 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Yurka you dimwit, it was KoK reference.

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June 25, 2012 1:09:05 AM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

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June 25, 2012 3:43:07 AM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Mecha-Lenin,
it was KoK reference

I miss those threads...

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June 25, 2012 8:29:47 AM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

I know someone who would be suited for the mechalomaniacal bore category: Agent Exeider.

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June 26, 2012 11:29:19 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

ZzZz...

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June 26, 2012 11:40:02 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Polistes:

This troll enjoys such a low rating because we have yet to determine just what his motivations are for trolling the rest of us. He is most certainly enjoys the thrill he gets from making all of the pro gamers mad, but otherwise his presence is quite mysterious. He is coherent and intelligent, which also prevent him from getting higher up in the tiers.

Polistes is widely known for flaming the pro gamer portion of the Sins community and going off on tirades about how Single Players don't care anything for balance and they just want to have fun. When the modders respond to him, he just ignores them, and instead continues to berate the targeted pro gamer(s) until he feels that they have been sufficiently riled. Then he turns around and attempts to make you feel like you have wronged him somehow.

In order to avoid making him mad, attempt to make him feel better about himself with pictures of cats and cookies and bunnies. This will most certainly help keep his infamous 10-post barrages down to a minimum.

Also, do not mix Seleuceia and Polistes. They do not seem to get along well.

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June 27, 2012 7:55:30 AM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Polistes review added.

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June 27, 2012 11:38:31 AM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Quoting Pbhead,
Right. If you want to do it right you should:

 

1. Use trolls

2. Photoshop them yourself.

 

Like so:

 

Reduced 63%Original 900 x 496 

 

Coolest picture ever.

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June 27, 2012 9:52:24 PM from Sins of a Solar Empire Forums Sins of a Solar Empire Forums

Ah so now its The Pro gamers vs. The Modders vs The SP community.. AKA The "Mushrooms". For hanging out in dark places playing with themselves Errr.. Did i say that?... Of course I DID!! Troll lol lol lol.. la la.. la la la la la..

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