First, when an ally sites a specific location that requires assistance I hear the audio message and I zoom out but I dont see exactly where they mean. It seems like there should be some kind of obvious indicator on a 20+ plus planet map.
I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about. Granted I usually ignore the AI from a military perspective, but I didn't think they told you to attack a specific planet.
second, for diplomacy research do both team mates have to research the same general research for both parties to take advantage of the benefits? Does the diplomatic envoy have to be in a specific gravity well for my teammate to benefit from the research?
For research I think only one player needs to have it (though for things like giving resources you'll be able to give but he won't be able to send you anything until he researches it as well). However for the relationship requirements both players must have the needed level (I.e. for an efficiency pact both players must have relation levels of at least 11).
Third, Is there a way to turn off the camera following a specific ship when my mouse happens to be hovering over it? It messes me up constantly.
I think the camera button near the cinematic mode button might help with this somewhat. It only happens when you have one object selected so to get "unstuck" just click in empty space. I think you'll get used to it with a little practice. I love following my ships around so I'm not sure if there is an option buried somewhere to disable it.
Forth, those banners that appear at the bottom-left of the HUD... if i click on them they show me the latest announcements but is there a way to zoom in on a specific announcement location? say an artifact was found on planet wherever.. how do I find it easily?
It will auto select the planet or ship in question, and I know there is a hotkey to focus on the currently selected object, just not sure what it is off the top of my head.